On Saturday i got out of bed excited to go down to London and meet up with some friends if I’m honest the fact that Saturday happened still hasn’t sunk in as i had literally spontaneously said a week in advance whether people wanted to be in my presence since my birthday was on Thursday last week and i wanted an appropriate method of celebrating it. I’m not gonna go into too much detail because the fact that I’d met my proxy child is fucking nuts and I’m still in disbelief.
Anyway I’ve gone off on a tangent, what i meant to say is that I got up, had breakfast, showered and all the other general things that one does in the morning. Saturday was different; that day i looked in the mirror and I was happy with what i saw. I felt as if this was what everyone meant when they said I wasn’t totally grotesque. A few people have said that I was good looking and before I’d laugh but now it’s kinda sunk in now. I felt strangely comfortable with what I looked like and it was a good strange.
I have spent a large portion of my teenage years picking holes in my everything. Whether it’s my personality, my looks, my body, everything. So to see myself and to have liked what I saw is a big thing for me. I mean, I’ve had days where i feel cute but that day was different. Something inside my head flipped and I knew this was something special. I waited a few days until today and my belief that i was an attractive human stood. I look at other people and i feel assured rather than insecure and horrible. I look at the guys around school and i feel like I’m the best looking one there. Sure, there are a few guys that grab my attention but I can find a flaw in all of them whereas I’m more or less flawless. I’m like a human Goldilocks zone, just about right in every manner.
And I’m not even ashamed to say that.