Disclaimer: I wrote this yesterday
Whaddup Lions and welcome to my first post back. So as you may know, I had my first week of NCS today and in this post I’ll be talking about what NCS did for me and what I did there.
So if you’re not aware of NCS, it’s a programme for 15-17 year Olds in the UK where you do charity work and do physical activities such a rock climbing, abseiling and various team building exercises and it’s a great opportunity to meet new people around my age.
My team that I was put into are literally the most supportive people ever and they were always there to encourage me whenever I felt depressed or anxious because I did feel scared of the activities because of heights and stuff but I feel like I made progress in conquering my fear of heights because I managed to do everything that I was told to do to the best of my ability. For example I jumped off a really fucking high platform on the powerfan jump and BLINDFOLDED too and I never thought I’d do that. EVER. I also learned that I can do things and that I shouldn’t just day I can’t do it and have a defeatist attitude to life. I also warmed up to social situations quickly for my standards and we did this thing every night called the TRUE awards which stands for trust, respect, understandkng and empathy. This basically was am award for the person in the team who was the “Star of The day” to put it into the words of the team leader, which were basically an acknowledgement for an important member of the team and I won the award on the first night because of my personality and my willingness to volunteer to do things first and people even said that I inspired them to try the things and leave their comfort zone which I’m proud of myself for.
I also spent every night. Outside until 11pm just talking to the new friends I made, eating pizza and laughing which was everything I’ve ever wanted to do and I felt like a real teenager just able to curse when I wanted,able to talk to who I wanted and just able to live how I wanted without thinking of the repercussions if I kissed anyone or something. The thing is that; I didn’t feel social anxiety at all, I got anxious a few times not gonna lie but I was quickly calmed down by my amazing friends. However I did feel really anxious on one of the activities but I don’t want to talk about that.
So now I’m gonna go onto the negative part of my experience and this is very small so it’s not much of a negative. But I had a few cousins who were there as well and they would always cut into my conversations and talk shit about me which I won’t go into because of how much it annoys me. These people would always just interrupt me and say that I’m in a relationship with just about any girl I talk to and just be complete fuckwads about everything I said or did. They would seek attention from everyone and were just unpleasant in general. I just wish they’d realise the need to make our own friends. But besides that, it was great.
I’ve only done the first week and I already don’t want it to end already and I’m scared of it ending and my happiness going down to rock bottom again. I’ll confess;I was scared of coming back to the internet because I was so happy at the time and I’m worried for losing happiness mainly because I’m at home now and home is like the most negative place on earth for me.
That’s me donr for today and now that I’ve been home for a day I’ve been made to feel horrible again im so glad I wrote this post when I was in a happy place. I’m gonna end this post and wish you a good week. Bye.
Hated one out…