Whaddup Lions and welcome to this small life update. I don’t normally enjoy writing these because they’re not very good to read in my opinion and as I’ve said;I’m a perfectionist and I only want my best work to be posted but there comes a time where exceptions have to be made because not all of you follow me on Twitter so I thought I’d just tell you about where I am right now.
So as you may know from a post a couple weeks ago, I was in Morocco until yesterday and I came back yesterday. I just talked in circles there and I’m distracted again. Anyway so I’m back in the UK but however I’m going on NCS tomorrow so I won’t be able to post for the next 5 days.
This has obviously been inconvenient not only for me but for you guys too and I am literally forcing myself to write a post today to make up for the next 5 days where I will not be posting unless by a miracle I have good wifi. I know I said the exact thing in Morocco but lightning doesn’t strike twice I think the saying is so basically I’m worried I won’t be so lucky with wifi this time around.
This leads me onto my point of making up for the next 5 days of likely absence from the blogosphere. I’ve been nominated for a few tags recently and I feel like there’s a pressure on me to do those tags as soon as possible like a piece of homework otherwise I’ll disappoint the person who nominated me. Here are the posts I have to write: Purple nominated me for the 2 truths and a lie tag, Anna/Regina/whatever I should call her nominated me for the handwriting tag, there’s also that clip I want to send for the find my feet project, a progress report, a comedy rant and I’m seriously overwhelmed right now. I never thought I’d say this but it’s feeling like an obligation to write posts and to make them amazing. I’m even feeling guilty for writing this post to express my feelings!!!
You guys maybe think right now that I’m exaggerating, crying for no reason or whatever the hell you think I’m doing. You’re probably saying that I should stop being a baby and do these things now instead of writing about them. That’s a fair point and I respect that perspective due to my status as an open minded individual. However I’ve always had a core value to always post because you feel like it and I’m reluctant to just drop these posts out like I’m taking a dump or something, but I want to maintain my values but not disappoint you at the same time I know I can only have one or the other but I’m just finding it hard coming to terms with everything not happening as per my wishes. I want people to be happy to have tagged me and not for their nomination to go to waste on me.
Let’s not forget that I’m worried about NCS tomorrow. I’ve been packing all day which I’m bad at and I’m going paranoid over the kit list. For example the word small backpack is causing so much stress because there’s a different perception of small to a lot of people. I’m packing for the first time and I know I’ll forget something like always, I might run into one of my bullies who will most likely make references to my past mistakes and spread bad stuff about me which will lead me to sadness and a vicious cycle of self loathing. I’m scared because I don’t know who I’m gonna share a room with because I’ve never made a guy friend in my life until recently and said guy friends won’t be there to support me. Sharing a room is a problem for me because everyone gets to choose and everyone will go off with their own friends while leaving me alone and to be dumped on a set of people who see me as an attachment rather than a real person. So yeah a stressful time.
But yeah that’s the end of this post and I’m sorry again to moan at you again about my life but I needed to get this out of my system. Wish me luck over the next few weeks or so and don’t leave me because I haven’t posted because I love you guys so much. Finally, remember to stay true to yourselves and to live every day to the fullest.