Storytime: Old Habits

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Disclaimer I wrote this yesterday and it’s going up today

Whaddup Lions and I’d like to welcome you to a post that’s kinda spontaneous. You see I wasn’t planning to write about this but I wanted to do another storytime post because as some of you may know something happened yesterday that tested me heavily and I’m here to talk to you about it.

It happened yesterday and I had finished my work for the day and it was after dinner as well so I was chilled out and I had a nice,full stomach. I went upstairs and I checked my phone which is a totally normal activity and I saw that someone had commented on my dear heartbreaker post, which is totally normal but I noticed that the commenter had the same name as my ex who that post was about. I didn’t want to believe she’d came back because I’d worked so hard to put the past to rest so therefore I looked at where the comment came from in terms of her email address and I noticed there was a match between the comment’s address and my ex’s email address and that’s when my heart sank.

It literally felt like my heart was trying to escape from my rib cage because I felt all the feels coming back to haunt me again. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’ve ever stopped loving her because she was my first love and it’s near impossible to turn feelings off by a flick of a switch of course I was tempted to go back to her and do everything again because with her in my life I didn’t feel so neglected all the time as we were great friends as well as in a relationship.

With my heart pounding I looked for two of my blog friends Just a blank space and Em to get help from them so that they could give me advice and the both of them were absolute troopers in the way they helped me and they were just so cooperative with my emotional state. During when I was getting help I was an emotional wreck and I began to feel my heart making my decisions for me and the both of them brought my rational side back and I realised it was wrong to go back when I went to unblock her on social media but I felt like I was literally reopening a scar and then I knew not to slip back into my old habits. Today she commented again and I then said if we’re gonna do this can we keep my blog out of this and so then we simply caught up briefly and asked how we were doing and it’s all sorted now.

I’m telling you this story because I only tell stories for two reasons: one if it’s funny and it’ll make you soil yourselves laughing or two if we can learn something from it and I like to use my suffering and mistakes to act as a form of strength for someone who hasn’t quite been through the same stuff. What we can learn from this is that you can easily undo progress that you’ve made in seconds. This is important because after you’ve cut out an unhealthy relationship with someone then it’s easy to go back to them and undo everything you did. I am so proud of myself for not slipping back into old habits and I don’t care how anyone interprets that comment because I’m allowed to be proud of myself for learning from previous mistakes. Now I ask something of you guys: if you ever make a change in your life try try TRY your absolute best to not go back to old negative habits and this applies to whether you want to eat less crap or whether it’s being a nice person as patronising as that sounded. I admit you never know what you’ll do in the moment so that’s why I say try.

That’s the end of the story and please don’t expect constant storytimes from me because one I haven’t got many big stories and two I prefer to tell you guys stories on my own wishes. Have you guys ever had a time where you learned from a mistake and applied it? Let me know.

The Lonely Lion
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