Dear Heartbreaker

image

Dear Heartbreaker,

It’s been a while since we last talked, I just wanted to thank you for all the things that you’ve done and you breaking my heart was just a symbol of the end. Today I’m just going to write a letter to you to tell you how I’m doing. You probably won’t ever read this as I’ve burned all possible routes back to you but here goes nothing.

I remember the way in which we started out as friends: we had no spark, just a regular friendship not those inseparable best friends that we see in the movies. Until one day everything changed. We began to develop feelings towards each other we both had no idea how to deal with it as we were still incredibly young and too immature to handle this correctly. But we agreed to learn as we went along and I’m happy I did that.

You were my first real love, you know the love that you feel when you’ve felt infatuation before but you were sure this was love. We used to always think of each other, whenever one would compliment the other there would be an unforgettable drop in the stomach. Nobody had made me feel like that before. I remember we’d plan our wedding and our kids names and everything, we couldn’t control ourselves. It was so good at the time but then the mistakes started to creep in.

We moved too quickly because we felt so in love at the time. We told each other literally everything about the other. I told you each and every one of my secrets that I haven’t told anyone before and you returned the stories. We did things we perhaps shouldn’t have done and it soon got to a stage where it was so much pressure and work to maintain and then we broke up for the first time. That was the first time I ever cried over a girl and I really hope it would be my last. A day later we decided to get back together because of how empty we felt and about a week after that we agreed to be done for good. We said our goodbyes thinking that was it. Boy were we wrong.

A few months later I came crawling back in a terrible state: it was near the start of my depression and I came back to you in the hope of having a real friend because I felt so alone in my feelings and in terms of people. I felt like you’d complete me again but you had a new boyfriend and you were happy. However soon after you broke up with him and we began to do everything again: all the same mistakes all over again. This time around you’d changed because of me. I’d put you through so much suffering and I broke you and I then tried to fix you again.

When I came back you started going to parties, doing drugs, getting drunk all the things you said you’d never do. And it was all because of me. Then I held on for far too long. During my depression I felt so alone I felt that you were the one to complete me and make me happy again but I only ended up ruining your mood with my depression and it was so unfair on you. I held on for that long because you’d never given up on me in my worst so I felt you had to see me at my best again. Soon after I finally took the right step and ended us forever. I blocked you on everything and you did the same back. That was finally the end of a relationship that went on far too long. I still remember you our last words “will you actually stay away this time?”
“Yes”
“Good thank you”.

Now I’m at my best again. I’m doing better than I ever imagined and I learned a really valuable lesson from you and that is sometimes you have to let something you love go in order to progress. Do I regret the things I did? Yes I do regret how I handled things when they got sour but I don’t regret spending all that time with you because I learned so much and it helped mould me who I am today. I just want to tell you that I’m ok and I hope you’re ok too. I just want to say that im sorry for putting you through everything. I was the one that broke your heart at first I admit that and apologise for it but the way we ended things broke my heart and ever since then I’ve associated you with pain in order to get over you and that’s worked. Just promise me you’ll follow your dreams and pretend I never existed: it’s better for the both of us.

Goodbye,
The Lonely Lion

Advertisements

54 thoughts on “Dear Heartbreaker

  1. This was really heartbreaking to read… I agree that it may be better to let go of what or who you love if it really is for the best. I hope you feel much better now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your concern but she is behind me now. Sure I will remember her for the good times we had but also gotta stay mindful of slipping back into old habits and going back to the past. I’ve grown too much to take steps back

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not saying it’s easy to keep looking forwards. There’s always the temptation to go back to the past which is familiar and comfortable instead of leaving your comfort zone and growing

        Like

      1. No it’s cool. May I ask what was it that was beautiful because I wasn’t intending to wow anyone with it. It was meant to be the final step in putting that behind me

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Well .. People go through same phases just that you’ve posted it, some bury it deep within, wen each of us relate to our stories, we understand.. Nd Pat our shoulders..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh I understand I wrote this post because I finally wanted to complete the final part of getting over someone which was to tell the story

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I am fine now. This post was meant to be the final stage in getting over her. Now she’s in my past and my relationship with her helped make me who I am

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s like building a snowman in winter we have to be dragged through the cold hard ground to make a person we’re proud of

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh so it struck a cord I feel you. At least that part of my life is over now and I can move forward. Please tell me you’re not my heartbreaker who this post was addressed to because that’d be weird

      Like

    1. Ok well I’m still sorry I made you cry I wrote this post more for myself to show that I’ve finally put the girl behind me

      Like

    1. That was a rather interesting way to announce yourself I was kinda expecting a more grand entrance with flashing lights and stuff

      Like

  2. Hey, looks like I’ve already commented on this, but I’ll do it again. I know you better, and so when I read over this, I cried. This was the first post of yours that I ever read, I remember that now; my comment was so… Shit. What I really want to say is that you writing this was so good. It hopefully helped you to feel a litle better, or to at least get things out there; writing about that let us know what kind of things you’d been through. To let someone go is the hardest thing ever, but sometimes it’s necessary. It’s okay to realise that.
    Sav, you’re fabulous. I know how heartbreak feels, and the hopelessness that you can’t do anything about heartbreak – only that you have to, because it’s better for the both of you. Thanks for writing this, and I’m glad I could read it again now, when I can properly appreciate it. I cried because your emotions in this was so raw and real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks elm this comment means a lot more than it did before because I know you better now. I’ve learned from this that sometimes I have you sacrifice things I love in order to get to the next level in life. I’m sorry I didnt mean to make you cry.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s