What’s going on Lions and I just want to talk to you just to tell you guys what’s been going on in my life recently I’m not posting this so you guys can feel sorry for me I don’t want that at all its just things have been difficult recently and I just have no one else to share it with apart from you people so yeah stuff.
First things first as you guys know I have really important exams this summer and the workload has made my life a Rihanna song and I don’t like it. I don’t want to take a break because I don’t want to lose any days, I don’t want to take a break from posting because this stuff is like my break, my release from all the stress you know. I thought I could handle the workload but I was wrong, it’s impossible to juggle posting regularly and revising at the same time but then again I don’t want to stop posting because I enjoy this and no way am I giving up revision. I feel like despite the hours I’m putting in nothing is coming out of it and I’m working from 9 or 10 in the morning to 9 in the evening with breaks in between where I work on my posts and its driving me crazy. I used to enjoy taking time out of my day to be screen free but it’s impossible now and now I sound like a whiny bitch and why am I even considering posting this crap.
Secondly is my loneliness has been kicking in recently. What I mean by this is that I’m beginning to feel isolated and as if I’m alone because of the lack of support with my struggle and I’m already isolated enough. You guys may be saying what about your friends? And yeah I do have people in my life that I consider friends but for every true friend there are many snakes. For example I get people telling me time and time again about how they’ll invite me to something next time or “one day” and it always gets my hopes up because despite being an introvert it still feels good to be invited and I want to leave the house sometime at least! But a true friend told me a few days ago and I quote “I would invite you” followed by a heart emoji and that meant the world to me because I’m so used to unkept promises the made me begin to see the worst in people but it made me realise who I was wasting my time on and something must change. It also made me think why are they being so nice to me? and what have I done to deserve them? So thank you to anyone who’s ever been kind to me and treated me like I deserve to be treated I love you so much I just want to bear hug you.
That’s the end of my rant about how I’m struggling but I really needed to get this out of my system and express how I feel. This most likely made no sense so sorry. Again I’m not posting this for pity, I’m posting this so you guys may give me some kind of advice or something. As always please like, comment, follow and spread the love.
The Lonely Lion